If you don’t know what you like…..how could you possibly teach another person how to treat you? Let’s back up…do you believe we teach people how to treat us? I do.
I have three life goals: To keep intimacy at the top of my game for as long as I’m alive
To develop a wicked sense of humor
To create a unique delivery system for therapy
The first one led me to discover the “sex-positive” movement. These folks are all about 2 primary objectives….education and enthusiastic consent!!!!!
Not only did “enthusiastic consent” resonate with me…I began to apply it to anything I was thinking about saying YES to. It really cuts down on the hemming and hawing about everything. Now I just check in with myself quickly and see if it’s got good energy behind it…if it does…I’m all in.
How does a person learn what they like or want? By experimenting with meeting your own desires first. By learning to treat yourself with self-compassion and respect. Then you are able to “project” your values, attitudes, beliefs, actions onto other people out of your own reserve. You create this reserve by investing in your own emotional bank account. That way when you show up in the arena, being brave and taking calculated risks, when you get what you’re asking for….it’s cherry. When you don’t get what you want…and you get your “ass” kicked….you know how to get back up…what your values were that made you want to be brave…and have another go at being brave.