Back in the day, when I worked for other organizations, I would have to provide couple’s therapy in a very “scripted” manner with both people present. Yuck!!
So for many many years I have only seen women. Like 10 years out of the 15 years I’ve been in private practice. And then a funny thing happened….I realized I can do partner work any way I’d like. I began to ask people if they wanted me to work with their partners too to help heal the relationship? The answer was a relief and so often I got a resounding “why yes I would like that.” Then I’d say, “here’s the catch. I only do couple’s work separately.” I’d explain that every individual has their own woundings and areas for healing and we all are a collection of life’s ups & downs. Doesn’t it make sense to have each individual do their work and then bring their healing to the table of the relationship? Check! Check! and Double Check!
I have the utmost respect for partners who are down (or up) for change. That is real daring and it takes courage.